Bidisha

We have only met via e mail and I look forward to talking with her further when I’m back in London later this year. Check out her blog!

http://bidisha-online.blogspot.co.uk/

I have a wonderful friend, Cecile and she is so sweet to keep introducing me to French people in LA as my next project is set in France. CHARLIE is a famous hair dresser in Paris and well established there but has always had a dream to come to America.   She has incredible style and its so cool that she has followed her dream and has opened a beautiful salon in West Hollywood!

Charlie and me

Her shop is across the street from Urth Cafe 85681/2 Melrose Av. Go see her!

Cecile and Charlie

http://www.charlieenparticulier.com/

My dear friend, Tanya Wright is a writer, director, actress currently on the festival circuit with her first feature film, BUTTERFLY RISING and she also wrote the book!

Tanya Wright

We met a few years back and it’s been so great to share our experiences as first time feature filmmakers and will be screening our films this weekend at The San Francisco International Womens film festival! http://sfiwff.festivalgenius.com/2012/films/butterflyrising_tanyawright_sfiwff2012

http://sfiwff.festivalgenius.com/2012/films/perfection_sfiwff2012

If you’re in the bay area come check us out!

My mother and brother Christian

To get away from it all I went to The Los Angeles Turkish film festival a few weeks ago and saw a wonderful film, PANDORA’S BOX by Yesim Ustaoglu http://www.ustaoglufilm.com/eng/

It is a story about three siblings in Istanbul dealing with an elderly mother and what to do with her as their lives are falling apart. Not exactly a break from my life but a great film!

The Los Angeles Turkish film festival at The Egyptian Theatre 2012

I love movies because in that film the mother is free to end her life as she wishes and in real life it’s just not that easy. On this rainy Sunday afternoon I brought my mother some flowers and we had a nice visit. She now lives in a cozy room with her kitty cat and as I walked in she seemed like she was in a daze but slowly she became more coherent and we talked about movies. I looked at my eighty three year old mother and saw in her beautiful blue eyes the woman who taught me so much I and felt her love.

As I was driving home in the pouring rain I couldn’t help but cry at the innocence and surrender I saw in my mother, it’s as if for the first time I really saw that she is not going to be around much longer and how grateful I am to be present for her now. I walked into my apartment and looked around as it is now furnished with many of my mothers belongings and THIS IS IT! My freedom and my independence as a woman is in tact today, these moments are precious and life is right here, right now. What’s next? Perfection is screening in The San Francisco International film festival April 15th and I’m so thrilled that Dr. Tonja Krautter, a specialist in self-injury and long time supporter of Perfection will be doing the Q&A with me.  http://sfiwff.festivalgenius.com/2012/films/perfection_sfiwff2012

A few of my favorite screenings were both documentaries. SONNY  a very cool short by Sophie Smith.

The historic Mississippi River town of Helena in the Arkansas Delta, is the home of the longest running blues radio show in the world. The King Biscuit Time blues show, which began in 1941 has featured ‘Sunshine’ Sonny Payne as the DJ since 1951.

Sonny

And PATRIOT GUARD RIDERS by Ellen Frick

The suffering of soldiers and their families is largely invisible to most Americans. But not to the Patriot Guard Riders, a 200,000 strong motorcycle group who attend military funerals to honor the fallen, and to protect grieving families. Really sad and powerful film!

Patriot guard riders

Oxford is a sweet town with beautiful old homes and I have a feeling I may go back there again someday.

I even found a cool thrift store.

The people were so nice and I made some lovely new friends. After the awards party and bunch of us went to Tupelo to visit GRACELAND TOO!

It’s a wacky old house stuffed with Elvis memorabilia run by this man, Paul. He was a trippy dude that had a lot of crazy stories and is a bit of a perve. I happily hid behind my friend as Paul insulted the ladies with his insane monologues about things I still can’t get out of my head but would never repeat.

Paul

This was such a great experience and everyone involved in the festival was beyond helpful. As this was my first festival with PERFECTION I was so lucky to have not only won two awards but to have had the opportunity to meet other filmmakers and have rich discussions about films, life and why we do what we do. I have never really been to the south and as my father was from Texas I dedicated the 2nd award to him. Today is his birthday and I hope that he knows how much I love and appreciate all of who he was and still is in my heart.

I love Allison, ran into her a few months ago and actually had a great conversation about women in film and how tough it is but reading this post the other day just made me angry! Not at Allison or her friend or all the other women writing about how hard it is for women to get movies made but that there is to me this annoying rant without much action! I don’t just mean action making our own films, Allison is good at that and I know a lot of other gals continuing to create but there seems to be a disconnect that sets us women apart complaining but not REALLY supporting each other. We all know it’s hard to make movies especially with female stories and vision but if you do manage to get one in the can that is when we need help the most! Getting the world out and not abandon ship when seas are rough.

Sure, it’s important to know the facts and to be aware of the odds but what is making me mad is that women still hide out and seem to have a hard time owning their power in the business! For instance, men are team players, they endorse each other and have a different mentality when it comes to helping. I met a guy a few years back who had his first feature screen at Sundance and Martin Scorsese put his name on it to help this guy. Scorsese’s name made a difference and it was no skin off his back. A win for one is a win for the team! As women we are so afraid that if we take the time to help another we will loose something and that’s so not true. I know in my life when there is ever an opportunity to listen to someone and support them in anyway I am filled with energy and feel better about my work and the world.

Katherine Bigelow and Barbara Streisand

What would it be like to see Kathrine Bigelow or Barbara Streisand  presents…   for some upcoming female director it would help her get noticed, get press and who knows might even break the myth that women don’t have power in Hollywood! Two major studios in this town are run by women and you’d think they could at least squeeze out a couple of female driven stories written and directed by women and I’m not talking about girl stories or female protagonist who act like men but dare I say, real emotionally mature WOMEN with all our intelligence, wisdom and yes, beauty! Enough with the consolation prize, I want to see a woman win an Oscar for a film about a powerful woman! Let’s not forget why we love and make films, to change life’s perception.

I was at a party in Los Angeles last night that was a primarely French crowd but there were a few Americans and I spent the evening in passionate conversation with some men about films. They were smart men varied in age but all in agreement that character driven, “art house” films by women like Lynne Ramsey, Nicole Garcia or Allison Anders are most interesting to them.

Lynne Ramsey

So, I happen to be in a like minded crowd in a metropolitan city but I also believe that people, MEN, the general public are spoon fed cinema that is easy, non threating and commercial out of laziness and how can that change? Baby steps! One posting, screening, tweeting at a time. If women own their power and position to take a risk and help another woman who is starting out by just mentioning her in an interview, showing up to a screening and tweeting it can make a BIG diffrence! Easy stuff and it’s amazing how just a shift in perception can go a long way.  I’m personally tired of complaining and if you are too then let’s be team players, see it through, support your local female filmmaker until she sick of hearing you saying great things about her! We seem to have no problem going on and on about men…Just a thought.

BTW, Beth Dewey just finished principle photography for her latest feature, DUMPED. Yay Beth!

I must say, I didn’t know much about Ms. Rampling except that she is a wonderful actress and beautiful woman but in this film it was so cool to see that she is so much more…

They covered many topics from eye lifts to what it means to look at one’s mortality and as a woman in her forties trying to figure out what’s next in life, this was a lovely gift! There are very few role models for real women and I felt lucky to be one of 6 people sitting in that dark theatre lifted up by Charlotte Ramplings life experiences and the talented filmmaker, Angelina Maccarone for her vision.

Happily I made it to the 5 pm showing of this film, of course it is only playing for one week and today was the last day…whew! There is something so rich about watching a film in a movie theatre. I asked a friend if he wanted to join me and his response was, he’d rather wait to see it on cable. Okay, this is what is breaking my heart and I fear that it’s only going to get worse. There are at least three arthouse movie theatres in LA that are closed down and this is HOLLYWOOD! I get it that some films are more cinematic than others but how about showing some respect to filmmaking and for ourselves that we deserve to take the time to relax without distraction and enjoy storytelling in the dark. My friend’s other reason was the money…hello? it was $8. If we don’t start supporting these movies watching them on cable TV will be our only option and again, that breaks my heart. As this holiday season is suddenly here it reminds me of how I have spent many a Happy Christmas, sitting in a dark theatre watching films that have changed my life. I don’t think I’m alone in this… I say, this holiday season give yourself the decadent gift of seeing a movie in a dark theatre. It’s worth every penny!

Happy Holidays! btw, My first feature PERFECTION will be screening at the OXFORD film festival in Mississippi Feb 2012. Yay!

Such a beautiful story about misconceptions and grief told with so much humanity and love.

I’m so grateful to see films like this, they inspire and give me hope that making films about real people with real life situations is meaningful and important.

In doing research for my next project, EXPECTING GRACE I was very lucky to have met a kind French, Algerian man who brought me to his mosque and told me so much about the muslim culture. There is a lot of ignorance in the west and again, I am grateful for films that open my mind and heart to see beyond the limited Hollywood experience. Please go see this film and support story telling that can actually feed our souls.

Dave Vanian and Me!

Last night I got to see one of my teenage favorite bands of all time, THE DAMNED and they were as amazing as ever! I heard someone say that the music you love when you are young will be the music you always love and that is the case here. I remember seeing THE DAMNED for the first time when I was 15 and I fell in love with the lead singer, DAVE VANIAN! He had/has this vampire vibe and was so pale, so cool and is an incredible singer. I’m really digging the new distinguished monocle look… he is super theatrical, as is the whole band including CAPTAIN SENSIBLE!

The Captain and Me!

And that’s the thing, Punk rock is suppose to be silly. That’s why I love filmmaking! You have to be a little crazy to make movies and I can’t think of anything else in the world where I have more fun being silly and creative at the same time. So many bands later somehow missed that but these guys are so talented, funny and smart, it just warms my heart that they are still around doing what they love. I always felt  their music was very cinematic and that’s why I’m thrilled to have two of their songs in my first feature film, PERFECTION! Our screening is in two days, NOV. 2nd 7:30pm at The EGYPTIAN THEATRE in Hollywood and both the Captain and Dave said they will try to make it! Talk about dreams coming true….Life is funny!

My first feature, PERFECTION has just been programmed for a ‘Sneak Preview” screening at the most beautiful theatre in Hollywood NOV 2nd SAVE THE DATE!  It’s gonna be a super fun night with a few surprises AND I want you ALL to be there…More details soon…There is so much to do and I’m so happy to do it!

This was an unexpected situation with someone I have loved for a long time as a “FRIEND”. Okay, so already how can I have built in love for someone unconditionally and the moment our lips touch all bets are off? I know this is not a new story for anyone and really why should I be surprised to see that yes, I too, am human but the thing that challenges me the most is the battle between my head and my heart. BTW, guess who’s winning? Ekhart Tolle talks about “You think you’re spiritual, try living with your family ” and in my current situation I am getting to look at all of my “ideas” of LOVE. It would be so easy to say that well, he’s just not the right guy or he’s got “stuff” or all of the things “FRIENDS” including this guy may have told me in the past about someone else when I was feeling sad but what I am learning in my heart today is…THIS SUCKS!!!

Not only do I feel bad but I have lost my “FRIEND” and can’t even talk to him about it. I remember hearing that it’s great to be “FRIENDS” with someone first before dating because you have all that information about the person, built in intimacy and trust. Well, guess what, after sex all of that is GONE! He is now on the other side and the battle is on! But wait! You LOVE him, this is your “FRIEND” yes, I have these lovely memories of just hanging out together, not really caring when he called, knowing that I’d see him soon and that he thinks I’m funny, smart, cool asks me for advice and loves me….GONE!

Okay, I know this may sound a bit dramatic but who are we kidding? The innocence of our “FRIENDSHIP” is lost and the truth is, I am not in a battle with my “FRIEND” I am in battle with myself! I can see why I have stayed single so long and it’s like my fears, doubts and old stuff has just been patiently waiting for this very moment. So, what are my choices? I can run…tried that twice already, didn’t work or I can take this “opportunity” to practice a deeper LOVE for myself and for him if he’ll have it and that is the risk we take with LOVE. Marianne Williamson  says something like… “We blow it the most with the people and situations we care about most”. Well, here I am blowing it, left and right, mud on my boots, blood on my face, waving a white flag, I surrender…